Rooted in Resilience: Curious about emotional reactions

This month, we're focusing on the theme of Curiosity to help us stay rooted in resilience. Curiosity opens us to new possibilities and offers a starting point for connection. Read on for information about the theme, encouragement for the week, and a tool you can use today. 

One big area of growth for me when I was teaching was my approach to assessment and analyzing data. In my first few years of teaching I would look at students' output-- test scores, individual work, engagement in discussions-- for proof about my worth as a teacher. The stories I told about what I saw were not helpful:

"The whole class is so bad at comprehension. I'm bad at teaching reading."

"They're not very engaged today. If I were a more fun teacher, they would participate."

"This kid always confuses b and d. It's my fault for letting those lessons slide."

These narratives kept me stuck in a mental loop and made me feel shame and helplessness. It took years of practicing subtle shifts in my approach to assessment to arrive at a place of curiosity. This switch helped me take in the same data, notice patterns and anomalies, and ask questions about it:

"Overall, the class' comprehension scores were low. I've been spending a lot of time on comprehension lessons. Where might the gap between our work and these test scores come from?"

"It seems like the class isn't very engaged today. Do they notice this too? I wonder what their perspective is about it."

"This kid always confuses b and d. Do they need more support? More time to pick up on it?"

Curiosity motivated me to find new strategies, ask questions, and collaborate with students and others. Curiosity took me out of the mental loop and into a space of possibilities and choices, where I wasn't the only one figuring things out but was connected with others working towards the same goals.

I'm guessing there's something familiar about this story for you- maybe you also struggle with narratives that turn data into proof about your worth, or perhaps you've seen students, colleagues, administrators, and families struggle with this. Keep that connection in mind as we pivot to our topic for curiosity this week: emotional reactions

Emotional reactions give us data. They might point to our boundaries being crossed, our values showing up, past pain that needs to heal, our hopes and dreams, or our current needs. It is a common human experience to tell narratives about emotional reactions that are unhelpful and keep us stuck in mental loops:

"I was so mad about that email! I probably shouldn't have sent that response. I'm so mean."

"I can't handle how these kids are acting today! I'm so impatient; the teacher next door is always patient. I'll never be as good as her."

"That group of teachers gets along so well. I feel so left out. I don't think anyone here likes me."

Emotions and emotional reactions are data. We can approach them with the same curiosity, possibility, and connection that we might use with student data:

"I was so mad about that email! I sent that response prematurely. I wonder what provoked my anger so quickly?"

"I'm feeling impatient with students today. What do I need right now? The teacher next door will probably watch my class for a few minutes so I can take a quick walk to the drinking fountain and fill my water and reset."

"That group of teachers gets along so well. I'm feeling jealous. I wonder what that reaction can tell me about my hopes for connection?"

I chose one way to reframe those narratives, but curiosity is about opening us to possibilities  I wonder how you might reframe them?

Try it out this week! Track your emotional responses, and get curious about them! It can help to use an emotional reaction from the past- something that you have distance from- or use one of my examples above!

 What is the emotional response? Write it out- how many feelings can you name, what do you feel in your body, what thoughts are you having?

 Some curious questions to ask yourself:

What pain from the past does this bring up?

What do I need right now?

How is this reaction connected to my hopes, expectations, and values?

What other stories might be true about this situation?

Who could I share this with? Who could help me think through these questions?

Curiosity opens us to new possibilities and offers a starting point for connection. Let's embrace colorful curiosity together